In the milieu of raising kids, growing careers, and managing the house did we ever stop to look at the factors that set us on our path in adulthood in the first place?
The opportunities I had growing up in the Midwest are different than the opportunities my husband had growing up on Long Island, though his upbringing did little to help him explore what was around him.
Malcolm Gladwell notes in his book Outliers that Bill Gates was in the right place at the right time to take advantage of an opportunity to program over eight hours a day, six days a week, and before people had home computers. His location gave him the opportunity few others had at that time in history.
Parents have a major impact on shaping our initial path into adulthood. We know that, right? For some of us we may not see the reality of that until later in life. Once we do it can be beneficial to look at that and decide if we want to take that with us in the second half of life.
I grew up poor, but thanks to the prideful superiority of my family I was shielded from seeing that. I grew up in a fantasy world where we didn’t talk about problems like what led us to get government cheese and why mom cried about the bills all the time.
Our family background played a big part in defining who we are. According to a 2022 article from the National Center for Educated Statistics the group most likely to have ever attended college 3 years after high school were students with at least one parent who had a bachelor’s or other college degree.
Does that matter? It might not, but it could be something to look at since you have had some time to understand your values and what you want out of life.
I had a grandmother that became an artist and traveled to sell her art once the kids left home. My mama worked as a bookkeeper her entire life and lived as a hermit the rest of the time. My mom still works at the age of 78 at the same job she has had for over 30 years.
If we want a different life we have to understand our current state and then get information that can feed what we want for our future one.
“If you’re highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.”
Shelly Duval and Robert Wicklund
A severe midlife crisis was one of the best gifts life could give me. It forced me to question things and become aware of who I was and how I got that way. Life wasn’t working and to change it I had to look at my upbringing, myself, and the factors that led me to where I was.
Figuring all this out at midlife was ideal because I was approaching a point of my greatest maturity and beginning to understand that a majority of my life was impacted by forces that I wanted to distance myself from.
Let’s explore the world we live in and become aware of what shaped us into who we are. If we discover the status quo works than we can feel certain we are on the right track.
If we discover that we don’t like what we see, we have the opportunity to change it, and embark on the amazing journey of exploring the world and all the amazing things it has to offer.
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Marcy Pedersen
