For some of us who lived pre-internet our idea of 50 was limited to what we saw in our daily lives. Somewhere some of us got the idea that 50 was old.
It wasn’t retirement age, but it was when you started going down hill and hanging on until the end of your life. We didn’t have a 24/7 stream of information coming in to tell us anything different.
Things have either changed or the appearance online seems to tell a different story. I’m 55 working with boomers close to 70, my 78 year old mother hasn’t retired yet. If they were old when they turned 50 what the heck are they now?
The shock of it is that you hit fifty and don’t feel old. You have things you still want to accomplish and for the most part the energy to accomplish them. You’re staring at the second half of life thinking, I’m not finished.
You wonder how previous generations considered this to be old. You realize your younger self didn’t know what they were talking about when they tried to slap a label on anyone older than they were.
“In a 2020 paper published in the journal American Psychologist, researchers describe midlife as a time of unique milestones, including changing dynamics with middle-aged people and their aging parents, adult children and grandchildren, a smaller social and healthcare safety net, and potential financial issues.”
Maria Morova
So what is the big deal?
Fifty isn’t a magical number. Epiphanies can come at any age, but for some of us there is a mix that can happen to cause a particular one that is significant.
Changing Dynamics with Middle-Aged People
With time comes physical, mental, social, and relational change. I’m not old, but I’m tired. I don’t handle stress like I used to. I don’t have a large social network, but what I do have is valuable.
I can do HIIT at the gym, but getting a good nights sleep is a major ordeal. I have an entire get ready for bed and wake up routine to help me cope with life. I have the energy to climb a mountain, but need some aspirin to help me cope with the soreness I wake up with after doing no physical exertion.
Unique Milestones
Like having raised your kids, coming to the end of your career pre-retirement and starting over, divorce, marriage, caring for parents, grandchildren, and figuring out how to be parents of adults.
The article points out that middle-age is strikingly understudied, which leads to misconceptions about that stage of life.
Try the misconception that parenting is over when the kids leave home. The day to day activity is, but wow I didn’t realize what my parents went through all these years. It feels like you are just getting started.
Aging Parents
This becomes a big deal depending on the situation with your parents. Most of us are aware of how we may become their caregivers on a full or part time basis, but there can be other things we didn’t consider.
Like how a parent didn’t plan for retirement and needs financial support. How we might discover late in life how dysfunctional our childhood was and at the time they need support and we need space to heal.
Less of a Safety Net
Before my 58 year old husband left for work today he mentioned how we would have the house we bought last year paid off by the time he retired in 8 years. Uh huh.
Maybe we will once we are able to stop supporting adult children, get our debt paid off–again, and make more money. Oh yeah, we make more than we ever dreamed we would and it’s not enough. We needed the income we have now back in 1999.
Maybe we should take heed of the Sally O’Malley skit from SNL. Maybe it’s kind of funny how we pronounce are 50ish abilities. “I like to kick, stretch, and kick!” Maybe its our new found freedom online to get the word out about what this is really like. An opportunity we didn’t have when we hit other milestones.
What’s the big deal about being over 50? I guess you will see once you get there. I hope you write about it.
Marcy Pedersen
